Matt Damon Mercilessly Roasts Andrew Schulz in Hilarious Stand-Up Special Teaser
Credit: Pexels
Matt Damon hilariously roasts Andrew Schulz while promoting his new Netflix comedy special in a must-watch teaser
Andrew Schulz just wanted to enjoy a nice meal with his baby. But Matt Damon? Matt Damon wanted to absolutely obliterate him.
In the promo for Schulz’s upcoming Netflix stand-up special Life, Damon strolls into a diner, spots Schulz, and immediately goes into full roast mode. No hello, no small talk—just pure, unfiltered bullying.
“Cute baby,” Damon smirks. “I didn’t get the Amber Alert.”
And from that moment on, Schulz never stood a chance.
Matt Damon Is the Roast King We Didn’t Know We Needed
NEW | Matt Damon Roasts Andrew Schulz's New Netflix Special. pic.twitter.com/KAioH6w3mH
— best of matt damon (@damonlibrary) February 24, 2025
When Schulz mentions he’s celebrating his new comedy special, Damon hits him with, “What do you do, stand up there and grow a mustache?”
Ouch.
The special covers Schulz’s journey with IVF, but Damon—being the good friend he is—uses it as the perfect excuse to roast him into oblivion.
“Hey everybody!” Damon shouts to the entire diner. “Andrew Schulz has a comedy special about how his balls are full of oatmeal, and we’re all gonna watch it!”
Schulz, now realizing there’s no escape, tries to play it cool: “Do me a favor—don’t watch the special. It’s not for people like you.”
Big mistake.
Damon, now personally offended, fires back: “What does that mean, people like me? I’ll watch your f—ing ‘I’m shooting blanks’ comedy special as much as I f—ing want to. I’ll watch it twice!”
At this point, Schulz might as well hand over his Netflix login because Damon is now the show’s #1 promoter.
Wait… How Do These Two Even Know Each Other?
Believe it or not, Damon and Schulz go way back. Like, annoying neighborhood skateboard kid back.
Damon recently shared on the Breaking Bread With Tom Papa podcast that he used to live in the same New York building as Schulz’s parents. “My friend Larry Schulz and his wife Sandra lived above me, and they had these two kids, Greg and Andrew, and they would skateboard around me.”
Fast forward years later, and Damon finds out that the same kid who was probably grinding his nerves (and the apartment railings) is now a very successful stand-up comedian.
“I go, ‘F—ing Andrew Schulz is Larry’s kid?!’” Damon said, probably having flashbacks of loud skateboard wheels on hardwood floors.
A Roast… With Love?
Despite the relentless insults, Schulz has nothing but praise for Damon. “Matt’s the man. We were in the trailer right before we filmed just riffing on the script, and his ideas were hilarious,” Schulz shared.
He also called Damon a mega movie star with no ego—an incredibly rare Hollywood phenomenon. Which is impressive, considering the guy just spent a whole afternoon making sure the world knows about Schulz’s less-than-stellar sperm count.
Catch Life on Netflix starting March 4. And don’t worry—if you forget, Matt Damon will remind you.
