Credit: Burger King

Giant crowns and extra onions.

Social distancing can be a bit of an unpleasant affair. You have to crank up your spatial awareness to the max, and if you accidentally pierce someone else’s personal bubble, you’ll get the mother of all stink eyes. Or hand sanitizer thrown in your face. Possibly both. It’s for this reason that some businesses are trying to have a little fun with the concept. If we all have to deal with it for the foreseeable future, then the least we can do is make it amusing.

Burger King has rolled out a couple of rather silly ideas in its international locations. Over in Germany, Burger King locations have begun giving out paper crowns. “But what’s strange about that?” You ask. “Burger King’s been giving out paper crowns since the 80s.” Too true, hypothetical reader. However, these new and improved crowns feature a gigantic width of exactly six feet from the center, guaranteed to keep anyone and everyone out of arm’s reach. Unless it rains, at least.

Credit: Burger King

Elsewhere, in Italy, Burger King has employed a bit more of a… chemical-centric idea. Exclusive to the Italian menu, Burger King debuted the “Social Distancing Whopper.” It’s nearly identical to the regular Whopper burger, but with one key difference: triple the onions. This burger is guaranteed to give you breath so gnarly it’ll keep everyone out of your 6-foot bubble, pandemic or not.

Reactions to these “inventions” have ranged from amused to eye-rolls. Some commenters have called the ideas “ridiculous” and “silly,” while others have heaped on the praise (though while still calling them ridiculous and silly). No word on whether the burger chain will import these ideas into other countries, or if they’ll come up with something else entirely. Personally, given the opportunity, I would totally wear the giganto-crown and eat a triple-onion Whopper at the same time.